Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater. Or Something.

Starting over can be really tough. Getting used to less sleep, getting out of bed before my boys have even thought about it, the punch-in-the-face cold walking to our gym, and then of course there are my poor, poor legs. 

Every single run in the first two weeks was hard work and I had sore legs each and every time. Not the kind of sore legs that go away after I warm up. These legs are screaming “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!?” while I huff and puff and tell myself how sorry I am that my choices in the fall have put me back at square one, going through this process all over again.  

Maybe that’s why yesterday happened. But then again, maybe not…Saturday was amazing. 

Saturday. I ran outside on my favorite old trail for the first time since before my ‘break’. The sky was overcast (no bright sun in my eyes), it was cool but not cold (just how I like it), and there were enough people out there to give me that feeling that I am part of the ‘group’; strangers with similar interests doing what I’m doing in the same place. For whatever reason, that really helps boost my stick-at-it-ness. If they can do it, I can too. 

Wednesday’s legs were still fairly achy so that morning I decided to take it easy, giving myself permission to do a little bit less if I needed to. I started off at my usual warm up ‘shuffle’, feeling the aches and stiffness and how tired my whole body seemed to be. It was work. I made it to my halfway point and started to feel some of that relief mixed with a little bit of “look at me go!” And then it happened. The tension in my legs released, the aching stopped and I felt that I could more than handle everything I had planned for myself. Adrenaline kicked in and not only did I complete my goal, I managed to push beyond it ever so slightly. That’s not something I usually do but I just couldn’t help myself. Adrenaline is a strong-willed beast and that feeling is what I run for. 

My body is amazing, look at what it can do.

 

After that run, I couldn’t wait for it to be Monday morning so I could get up and do it again. But Monday morning was not on board. I hadn’t slept all that well, but frankly that is a piss poor excuse. My alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. (I build in 30 minutes of snooze time) but by 5:00 I was no closer to getting out of bed, and by 5:15 it was too late. I told myself I’d bring my gear to work and run at lunch, and then I went back to sleep. 

It is never a good idea to trust my 5:15 brain. When I finally rolled out of bed I realized that there was a good chance I wouldn’t be able to run at work, because Sunday was a coworker’s birthday and sometimes we go out for lunch to celebrate. So I unpacked my gear and went to work, and that was the end of my Monday run.

Does running on Tuesday instead of Monday negatively affect my training? At this stage, not in the least. In fact, one could argue that it helped by giving my legs an extra day of recovery after the longer run on Saturday, and I’m actually thinking it might be better this way. 

Still, I felt like I had cheated. When I realized a lunch run was unlikely, I felt like I had let myself down. There was no reason at all not to get out of bed that morning, I just didn’t want to. Well, I usually don’t want to! The alarm goes off, I hit snooze for a while, I reflect on how warm and comfy I am, and then I get up, pee, dress myself and go for a run. This is MY goal, it is for MY benefit and the person who is affected when I don’t get out of bed is ME. 

You might be thinking that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I do appreciate that we are all human, none of us is perfect and pushing a run from one day to the next isn’t really that big of a deal. I used to do it all the time when something would come up and I’d need a change in schedule. The difference this time is that I didn’t plan this for any reason. I was feeling lazy and I didn’t get up, and that is not how I want to represent myself.

The bright side is that I felt like a jackass all day, which is one of those hard-felt lesson learned type situations I do not plan to repeat. 

And you know what? That extra day of recovery really did help me. From start to finish, when I ran this morning, my legs were not sore. They felt great! I felt great! 

Do you know what that means? 

I’m getting there.

SD